it doesn’t matter how many “pretend to be dating” fics i read, i’m always fucking in it headfirst every time and i fall for that shit every time. i know the pattern i know the plot twists i know what’s gonna happen but every single fucking time i’m fucking on the edge of my seat wide-eyed whispering like “what’s gonna happen are they gonna fall in love” to myself like of course they are you fucking idiot this happens EVERY TIME but as soon as i see the description and it’s like “x person and x person pretend to do the dating” it’s eternal sunshine of the stupidest fucking mind over here
just a heads up, if i ever weird you out on any level, too friendly, too flirty, anything at all, i encourage you to be very vocal towards me about it to make sure i dont continue to make you uncomfortable. i dont want anyone feeling like im not someone they can trust and be comfortable around.
Female-assigned intersex kids’ vaginal canal size is also assessed by doctors, to ensure that it’s long enough to fit a penis inside of it. Doctors might surgically construct or re-construct vaginas, which can result in a host of health problems and necessitate multiple, multiple surgeries. This is especially the case since most intersex kids have these surgeries very young, and when their bodies grow into their adult forms, more surgeries are necessary to keep their vagina size in proportion. Non-surgical methods are also used to increase or maintain vaginal length by regularly using medical dildos to stretch the vagina over months and years. (It’s kind of like braces for your vagina, but much, much worse.) Just like there are no standards for how long a clitoris “can” be before it’s classified as a penis, there aren’t absolute standards as to how long a vagina is for it to be of “normal” length.
I had a dilation procedure performed for almost every exam I had with intersex doctors from the time I was 8 until I was 16, so that they could check how long my vagina was as I grew. I absolutely hated these procedures. I mean, imagine a man as old as your father or your grandfather, who you don’t know, inserting a medical dildo into you each time you saw him, knowing that you can’t question the doctor’s orders and just accept that you have to undergo these uncomfortable procedures for your health. Imagine a decade or so later, realizing that these procedures did nothing to track your health, and had everything to do with grown men feeling good about the fact that you could fuck some dude someday like a “normal girl”. That all those traumatizing procedures weren’t actually medically relevant at all, and it actually was within my right to refuse those examinations.
I didn’t know any of that at the time.
I also had no idea that I wouldn’t want to ultimately have the kind of sex they assumed I’d be having, adding yet another layer of this-was-totally-unnecessary/messed-up to my history.
Other kids shouldn’t have to go through this. Other adults shouldn’t have revelations some day far into the future that what was happening to them WASN’T okay, and their traumatic feelings ARE valid, and the whole system of how intersex people are conceptualized and “treated” IS entirely fucked.
I just read this article and was reminded once again how invisible the intersex community often is… we need to signal boost this shit to let people know that this kind of “medical treatment” is NOT okay.
“There’ll be no flirting, that’s for sure. It’s not what this Doctor’s concerned with. It’s quite a fun relationship, but no, I did call and say, ‘I want no Papa-Nicole moments.’ I think there was a bit of tension with that at first, but I was absolutely adamant.”—
“I’m afraid I’ll never finish college. I’m afraid I’ll finish college with student loans I can never pay back. I’m afraid I’ll get a degree and won’t be able to find a job in that field. I’m afraid I’ll get a degree, get the job I dreamed of, and hate it.”—A Mental Illness Happy Hour listener whose list of fears matches mine four for four. Glad I’m not the only one. (via mcmexican)
“I find a purposeless universe to be far more inspiring and far less bleak, because it means that the meaning in our lives is the meaning we create. It is not imposed on us by some other entity…The meaning in my life is the meaning I make, and the quality of my life is the quality of my actions.
Seeing myself as an insignificant being in a purposeless universe inspires me to say: I am here for this little bit of time, I should make the most of my existence and make meaning in my life by the meaning of my actions. I find it far more humble to believe that than to assume that the universe was made for me.”—Lawrence Krauss (via whyallcaps)
“[John Vanderslice] said, “If you think the Internet is making us lonelier, then you were never lonely before 1995.” That’s fucking deep, right? You know what you no longer have to do? Sit in your room with nothing. There is someone, even if it’s just some dude arguing about Alien Vs. Predator, right?”—John Darnielle, on loneliness in the internet age. [x] (via herminegottlieb)
my uncle came by halfway too, but hes not big on groups so he said hi and disappeared into his room which is kinda sad because he’s my favorite relative. he doesn’t really do social stuff, he’s got my sense of humor and he talks a lot of shit, so of course I absolutely love him