I’ve been fielding lots of comments of the “how can you be promoting fat?!” and “haven’t you heard of type II diabetes?!” variety. So I’ve decided to write this post. I’ve outlined 9 typical statements by…
Golda’s on my dash! Probably one of just two or three people I know irl whose appearance on my dash I celebrate.
She’s going to be on Jane Valez Mitchell tonight at 7:45 EST, you should all watch!
tbh with you all, if they ever made a porno adaptation of Sherlock Holmes but it was set in outer space and mid way there was a dance routine choreographed by Will Smith and it all ended with some giant monument dedicated to Lucy Liu’s left foot
ACD would still be ok with it
Just for the record, I would watch the fuck out of this.
Last week at the International Meeting of Black People...
White person (bursting through the door):
Don't worry everyone; I'm here! Sorry, I got stuck in traffic, but I finally made it. That's right. I'm a white person! Please, hold your applause. I'm here to help you in the fight against racism. That's just the kind of person I am. I'm sincere, caring, and enthusiastic and ready to help in any way I can.
Um, well I guess you could start by--
Hey, I've got an idea. Let's all dress up like Trayvon Martin and march down main street! We'll call it "One Million Hoodies" and we can all go out and by Skittles and Arizona Teas and make speeches about white privilege.
I don't... I don't think that'd be--
Hey, I noticed one of your pamphlets said "End White Supremacy." First thing's first, we need to change that. I don't know, the phrase "white supremacy" sounds like it might alienate white people. How are we supposed to end racism without white people's help?
You know white people created racism, right?
OH THAT IS IT. YOU PEOPLE WILL NEVER END RACISM UNTIL YOU LEARN TO BE NICE TO WHITE PEOPLE. HOW DARE YOU BE SO CRUEL TO SOMEONE WHO JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU? I AM SO OUT OF HERE. GOOD LUCK ENDING RACISM WITHOUT ME. YOUR FIGHT IS NOW FUTILE.
Now watch white people argue with this post and successfully miss the entire point.
First, let it be known that I love most fanboys. When I go to a con, most of the guys there are respectful. They share a passion with me, and that’s awesome. We’re all on a rock floating through space with little connection to most of the people who surround us, so anything that allows us to bond is fantastic.
What I don’t love are angry fanboys (I wish there were a different word for them). I don’t love being scoffed at when I jump excitedly at finding a comic. I don’t love being told that, if I didn’t like something, it’s because it wasn’t “meant for chicks.” I don’t love the notion that I’m not a real fan because I have two X chromosomes and like to look at the Avengers cast. And I sure as hell don’t love my online interests (particularly shipping) being looked down on by the people who do this:
(Comment on a negative Rotten Tomatoes review of The Avengers.)
(Message in my inbox. Way to be an anonymous coward.)
(Comment on the the SHH boards.)
That last one’s fairly tame. It followed a (now deleted) comment that went something to the effect of this: “Tumblr is sick. I can’t even browse the Avengers tag because of all the fangirls posting porn.”
Well, you know what? I’m not sorry.
I’m not sorry my enjoyment of fandom is different from yours.
Maybe my time would be better spent bitching at reviewers and complaining that Black Widow made it to film before Ant-Man. But that’s not what I choose to do. I choose to draw. I choose to write fanfic. I choose to share podcasts and make comic book recommendations. I choose to be positive (when I’m not pissed of at people like you anyway).
I’m not sorry you sometimes stumble upon sexualized male characters.
You know why? Because of this:
(Zatanna’s new “costume”)
(Heroes for Hire #13)
And, finally, this:
(Thor, Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk, Hawkeye, and TITS AND ASS!)
You get to ogle comic book characters constantly. You get to ogle movie characters constantly. And you know what? While I have a problem with the double standard in comics, that is your right. Women are sexy.
But if I want to put Iron Man and Captain America on the cover of The Notebook or pose them like Cyclops and Jean Grey, I’m going to do it. And I think I have the right to without being thought of as some sort of freak.
How is the way I enjoy my hobby less healthy than the way you enjoy yours? How am I the one who’s inappropriate? I think it’s because I sexualize male characters instead of female ones.
I’m not sorry that makes you uncomfortable.
(“Leave the Avengers aloooonnneeeee!”)
(Wasp would never say this.)
I’m not sorry you’re a homophobe.
Actually, I kind of am. Exploring alternate sexual orientations isn’t “defamation of character.” It’s 2012, for crying out loud. I’m not a lesbian (or curious for that matter) but I can appreciate the Spider-Woman/Ms.Marvel pairing and the occasional Pepper/Natasha fic. The world of internet fandom has a lot to offer you if you let it.
I’m not sorry for shipping.
Shipping is glorious. I ship because it’s nice to think that these epic heroes have equally epic romances. Some of the fanfic out there is better written than a lot of comic books. Some of the fanart is better than real comic book art (looking at you, Rob Liefeld). Some of the things I ship are canon (Spider-Man/MJ). Others aren’t.
There’s a misconception that fangirls are only interested in male/male pairings. Some of them are, and who cares? That’s their right. But the assumption just isn’t true. There’s a reason Natasha/Clint is popular among movie fans. There’s a reason Tony/Pepper is popular. Those characters have boatloads of chemistry.
Then again, so do Loki/Thor, Tony/Bruce, and Tony/Steve. Don’t want ladies to overwhelmingly ship male characters together? Make a movie with more than one female lead. We can’t help it that The Avengers is a sausage party.
We are going to ship. We are going to ship loudly and proudly and there’s nothing you can do about it. I suggest you stop complaining and jump on the bandwagon. You might be surprised at how much you enjoy fangirls when you get to know us. We have a sense of humor. We have a sense of fun. We just happen to also have a strong sense of romance and a thing for attractive men.
Notice how “bullies” and “harassment” are not on this list. Notice how there are no “isms” on this list (racism, sexism, cissexism, etc…). Notice how there are no mental illnesses on this list (depression, eating disorders, etc…). And notice how there are no disabilities of any kind on this list.
#OMG LOOK AT THAT #LOOK AT THAT LOOK #YOU CAN SEE THE PAIN AND EMOTION IN THEIR EYES OF HOW MUCH IT HURT THAT SHE STOLE THE ONLY THING THEY SHARED TOGETHER #THAT ONE LOOK AT THE GROUND SYMBOLIZES EVERYTHING UGH IT EVEN REFLECTS HOW THEY FEEL THAT BARELY ANYONE CARES ABOUT THEM #THAT THEIR PAST IS ALMOST TOO HEAVY TO HOLD ON THEIR SHOULDERS #FLAWLESS ACTING I FUCKING CANT #ITS LIKE THEYRE FALLING AND NO ONE CAN SAVE THEM
“[TW: eating disorders]
The reality is that fat people are often supported in hating their bodies, in starving themselves, in engaging in unsafe exercise, and in seeking out weight loss by any means necessary. A thin person who does these things is considered mentally ill. A fat person who does these things is redeemed by them. This is why our culture has no concept of a fat person who also has an eating disorder. If you’re fat, it’s not an eating disorder — it’s a lifestyle change.”—
I just want to nail this to every stable surface I can find. I cannot count the amount of times that I’ve seen fat folks being encouraged, cajoled, and even forced into behaviors that would be recognized as disordered eating/exercising patterns in thin folks.
Pretty much everything that’s done on shows like The Biggest Loser would be called out as pro-ana/pro-orthorexia in a thin person. Exercising past the point that it hurts, to the point where you’re throwing up, even injuring yourself? Berating yourself because you didn’t lose ENOUGH weight this week? Constantly talking about how fat is weakness and thinness will make everything better, about how you can’t stand to be your current weight anymore? Emphasis on weight as a sign of how much control, strength, and worth you have? Viewing food as bad, as a temptation to sin? Constant sharing and talking about tips on how to minimize food intake, how to lose weight?
That sounds exactly like every pro-ana/pro-mia blog I’ve ever seen. It’s also what fat people are told we need to be doing to ourselves until we’re thin.
Quote and commentary. This is another reason why I don’t feel comfortable censoring pro-ana content: the people who are involved are very distressed and usually very sick (and don’t fucking anybody dare say ‘no they’re not, because they’re not really anorexic’), and they’re only repeating everything they hear from every direction anyway. The only difference is that pro-ana sites admit that what they believe is disordered and say ‘but fuck it, we’re doing it anyway’, whereas magazines and television say ‘no, no, of course this isn’t abnormal, it’s all perfectly healthy!’ (I’m not saying I support pro-ana sites, but I definitely think it’s hypocritical to censor them.)
"Cup," eh, by the way, is where you take a paper cup, and-
A Dixie cup, if you're American, and-
Or a paper cup, if you speak English.
And you, you keep it up, just by passing it to each other. Which sounds quite boring, but if you're waiting for a, uh, a helicopter for four days, it becomes the main way to pass the day.
I would just like to say here, that it's an original Dominic Monaghan game, available online at my website. Eh, you can use different cups, but if you want, you can log onto my website and get an official “Cup” cup.
And another game, called “Nudge,” which Billy is a huge fan of. So, if anyone wants me to get involved in game making, I’m available.
Speaking of game making, what was the name of the fake game that ya’ll tried to get me into?
That was good!
Oh my god!
And “Tig,” eh, it was when we were filming Weathertop, and myself and Dom just started tiggin’ each other, you know, touchin’ each other and going’ “tig.” Just, like, for no reason! And then Sean came over-
Slightly different from “Tag.”
And he came over and started doin’ it as well, “tig.” And then, we’d say “tig tig,” “tig tag,” like, for no reason! And, eh, and then Elijah came over and said “What you guys doin’?” I said “Oh, we’re playing a game, eh, called ‘Tig.’” He says “How do you play?” And we spent, like, the next two hours making up rules!
And, and trying to teach me, and of course I was getting everything wrong.
He couldn’t follow the game, and the three of us were forever frustrated that he wasn’t following these new rules that we would continue to make up.
So we would play, the three of us were all constantly getting it right. Every time Elijah’d try a new way of tiggin’ someone, we’d say “No, Elijah, you can’t tig on a tog. You can’t tag on a tig. You have to, you have to do an elephant impression if you’re gonna tig Billy. If Billy’s gonna tig you back you have to get on your knees and pull your trousers down.”
“How many times, Elijah, you can’t double-tig a tag!”
Yea. And, and for, like, three weeks he was saying how much he enjoyed playing “Tig,” and that he, uh-
He wanted to get the rule book.
But you remember that we forgot to say it was a wind-up. And it was, like, a year later, he says “Why do we never play ‘Tig?’”
And then they finally let it, let the cat out of the bag. My whole world came shattering down on me when they told me that that was a lie. ‘Cause I, for a whole year, I believed that that was a real game, and then they told me, and I-
I’m sorry, Elijah.
“What else, what else was not true?” That’s what I was asking.
It undermines the integrity of the entire relationship.
That’s what I think.
It was part of the whole bonding experience.
Although, me and Dom are actually just lies.
“Many men who harass women say their intent is to compliment them, but why do they usually not “compliment” women who are accompanied by other men and often only do it when a woman is alone? Why do they tend to object to other men “complimenting” their female significant other (if applicable), female friends, or female family members? Why do some men grow hostile and violent when women do not thank them and act flattered? Why do they feel compelled to compliment women at all? Rarely are they expecting a date. Many times they do not even wait to see a woman’s reaction as they fly by in their car or as they turn to start harassing the next woman. They are doing it to exert their power, to entertain their friends, to relieve boredom, or do demonstrate that they can evaluate a complete stranger to her face, just because she is a woman.”—
The thing that so many men need to understand is that women do not consider it a compliment when they are being harassed on the street. Women usually feel either embarrassed or terrified or a combination of the two. So stop fucking doing it.
it’s so telling that men tend to do this when they’re in a group of other men. and i’ve never had it happen when i’m hanging out with dudes, especially not when i’m with my ginormous dad (most men don’t give a fuck about harassing me if i’m with my mom who is as small as i am). so if it isn’t sexual, or threatening, and you just want to ~make me smile~ then why can you only do it when i’m perceived as vulnerable?
I would add that it rarely happens or when I am around men who know that I am dating someone at that time. Many men (certainly not all) are willing to lay off if they perceive that you are “owned” - otherwise, you’re public property, and they’re free to treat you however they like. Any competition that erupts is less to flatter the woman than to establish temporary rights to her, even if they must degrade her to do so.
that or the nature of the so-called compliments will change if youre w a man. they will go from a respectful “you look beautiful this evening” when youre w a dude to some vulgar shit about your pussy, if youre alone. because youre not worthy of respect as just a woman.
Pretty sure the little shitstains who hollered at brilliantassassin and I just wanted to say “I AM MALE AND HAVE A PENIS LET ME HARRASS YOU BECAUSE I CAN”. See, anyone who actually wants to compliment you says “my bad” when someone yells back “That is disrespectful don’t fucking do it”. They don’t go on to say they like your tits.
Men who yell out of car windows fall very much in the category of people the world would be better off without.
This is so fucking important, not in the least because half the people I come across who want to ‘compliment’ me out of the blue follow this up by slapping my ass, and goddamnit that shit pisses me off. Just because someone is in a public space does not make them goddamn public property, ffs.
In wich I have complicated feelings about Emilie Autumn
I somehow ended up listening to EA’s new songs. It’s very strange, because I haven’t listened to her in a year or two, at least but I wanted to hear the new songs. It’s very odd. I don’t like FLAG and most of the others, but Time for Tea, We Want Them Young and One Foot In Front Of The Other are rather good.
One Foot In Front Of The Other especially made me teary eyed. I may not really listen to EA anymore, and I may not really agree with all her choices but she’s still been a huge part of my life for years, and I still spent two years waiting for her book and hours waiting in line for shows and wearing stripey stockings chatting with all my fellow muffins and I can’t even begin to describe all the ways she’s helped me.
Even with all the weirdness that went on in the fanbase last year (was it last? the year before? feels like forever ago) I still count myself a muffin just because Emilie has always been there for me and was, ultimately, the reason I went looking for help. I think that’s why One Foot made me tear up and I don’t even care, because goddamnit Emilie made such an impact on my life. I still fucking love her, just for that.
TL;DR, EA gives me complicated feelings but my heart still does a little happy jump when I see someone wearing red/white stripey stockings.